Yeah, that's also why hoax believers can't tell us what procedure NASA used to fake the Moon rocks and why the chemtrails believers can't tell us what exactly is in the chemtrails and whether they are used to control the weather or drug the population into submission. It's all secret!
"My feet they finally took root in the Earth, but I got me a nice little place in the stars, and I swear I found the key to the universe in the engine of an old parked car..."
Sorry, I'm posting this is so many forums it's hard to keep track of responses in them all.
I thought this looked familiar. cbbrooklyn, posting at Cracked.com may not have been a good choice. I don't think you'll get many converts at a website that specializes in juvenile list-based humor usually involving genitals. Although it did result in some pretty funny responses, especially DCD's flowchart.
(No link- the relevant thread, not to mention the rest of the website, is NSFW)