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Post by lionking on Jan 30, 2007 12:44:20 GMT -4
[purple]don't know if they r true, but found them on a site for jokes[/purple]
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:
On Sears hair dryer: Do not use while sleeping. On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.Details inside. On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. On Some Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. On a hotel-provided shower cap in a box: Fits one head. On Tesco's Tiramisu desert: Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.) On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating. On packaging for a Rowenta Iron: Do not iron clothes on body. On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery. On Nytol (a sleep aid): Warning: May cause drowsiness. On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning keep out of children. On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use. On Sainsbury's Peanuts: Warning: contains nuts. On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands
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Post by echnaton on Jan 30, 2007 13:16:25 GMT -4
YES, WE ARE ALL DOOMED.
On car sun shield-- "Do not drive with shield in place." On a toilet brush-- "Do not use for personal hygiene." On a hammer-- "Misuse may lead to property damage and bodily injury."
Now everybody say after me, "Duh!"
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Post by lionking on Jan 30, 2007 13:59:53 GMT -4
TOP 5 On Tesco's Tiramisu desert: Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.) On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating. On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands On a toilet brush-- "Do not use for personal hygiene." Wonder how the actual products are if their manufacturers are such smart
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Post by echnaton on Jan 30, 2007 14:03:28 GMT -4
A yellow caution sign by a river in Japan: CAREFULLY FALL INTO THE RIVER! * * * * * On a multipurpose knife sold in Japan: CAUTION: BLADE EXTREMELY SHARP! KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN. * * * * * From the bottom plate of a lap top: DANGEROUS! DON’T SCREW OFF! * * * * * Sign at a beach: The shark prevention net was dismantled for maintenance on 1 November 2004. We apologize for any inconvenience caused. * * * * * “Baby on Board” style sign in a Hong Kong car window: Look! Our new baby is on our car! * * * * * At a zoo in Thailand: Do not put any part of your body in the crocodile pool. * * * * * Sign in a Tokyo taxi cab: "Please fasten seatbelt to prepare for crash." * * * * * Sign at park: KEEP JAPAN GREEN DON'T BURN THE FIRE CHIEF * * * * * A sign at the entrance to a cathedral in Cancun, Mexico Please keep loud, wild babes out of the sanctuary.
TRAFFIC SIGNS:
Cars will not have intercourse in this bridge! * * * * * To cross street push button at night. * * * * * BEWARE OF ONCOMING CARES * * * * * Exit Sign in China UNCLEAR POWER PLANT * * * * * A detour sign in Japan: STOP. Drive sideways.
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Post by lionking on Jan 30, 2007 15:06:27 GMT -4
LOL. its as funny as firing at someone by mistake and killing him, then saying sorry I assume they mean no accidents will happen? not even a Homsi would write this
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Post by Grand Lunar on Jan 30, 2007 16:17:23 GMT -4
Classic stuff here!
Ever here of Bill Engvall's "Here's your sign"? That really tells it all.
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Post by lionking on Jan 30, 2007 17:29:04 GMT -4
what is Bill Engvall's "Here's your sign"?
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Post by Data Cable on Jan 30, 2007 19:41:08 GMT -4
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Post by scooter on Jan 30, 2007 21:31:13 GMT -4
On the dashboard of all light aircraft sold these days...
Make certain fuel selector in in the "ON" position before takeoff.
Doomed, I hope not, but it makes it clear that the lawyers really run things these days...
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Post by echnaton on Jan 30, 2007 22:33:13 GMT -4
... it makes it clear that the lawyers really run things these days... Isn't that the definition of doomed?
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