"The kind with the visible beams"

[nomuse]

I was talking to a guy who'd done tech support as well as work in a theatrical supply house, and I asked him if he had any war stories...so he told me of a customer who walked in and wanted some lights for a dance.

"What kind of lights?"

"The kind with the visible beams. Not the other kind, the ones you can't see, but the ones that have those beams you can see."


I told him that trumped my story of the black followspot.


I know Jay is off doing real work, but anyone else have some client horror stories to share -- particularly theater or live sound?

[PeterB]

Nomuse said:

...my story of the black followspot.

Care to tell it?

[nomuse]

High school dance program, choreographer asked for the soloist to be in a single followspot. As the dance progressed the color of the spot should change....first green, then red, then black.


As is often the case with these stories, the choreographer grew extremely angry and abusive when told there might be a problem.

[PhantomWolf]

Should have used a blacklight and then when everything glowed told him that it's what he asked for.

[nomuse]

I think in the end they cut a "gel" out of black-wrap. Or maybe they just dowsed the spot.

I've gotten older, and far more wiser in the ways of clients, since I first heard that story. These days I'd offer them a dark purple gel -- without telling them what it was, of course. If they complained it was "too much purple" I'd dim it or double the gel until they were satisfied, all along apologizing that I was trying as hard as I could, I would get as much of that nasty purple out of their "black gel" as I could, and that I respected the needs of their production.

It's akin to the "aux 5" twist every FOH in the business knows. When the lead guitarist's boyfriend complains that she is too soft, you quickly adjust a control on the console, study it for a moment with a frown, then turn to the client/boyfriend/audience member/management person with a "Is this better?"

What's neat about that method is, if there really IS a problem they will still hear it and ask you again to do what you did, only a little more. Which tells you maybe you'd better take a good long listen OR find a second opinion. Either way, problem solved, everyone happy, no angry confrontation.

(And no attempting to explain Fletcher-Munson Equal-Loudness Contours or the Haas Effect to a non-technical person while an SRO crowd tries to jam into too few seats and the producer works on their first heart attack of the day).

[ShowCon]

Not so much a client horror story, but I knew a lighting designer that asked for white gel for an event. I think someone gave him the paper sheets from in between the other gels he ordered.

As far as live sound, I knew a guy that had, in his rack o' audio goodies, an NTC. A No-Talent Compensator.

I used to work in a nightclub. Almost nightly, we'd have a guest ask to speak to the Vari-lite operator to make a song request, because they thought the cool-looking Artisan console was some super-duper computerized DJ rig (the actual DJ was kinda hidden behind a bookcase full of vinyl). We got to the point of sticking a pair of headphones on the side of the console and, whenever some made a request, putting the headphones on and turning a few knobs and stuff on the console to make them think their song was the next one up.

Doug

[nomuse]

Cool, showcon.

Yeah...I'm pretty used to people visiting the booth and thinking I run the lights from the sound board (it LOOKS complicated enough to do the job!) But it beats the patrons who come to the booth and ask for us to adjust the air conditioning in the auditorium. THAT button is not in our consoles!

At a call this weekend I was reminded by a friend of the "Wizard of Oz" problem. So many of us end up doing technical support when some school or children's group wants to do "Wizard of Oz," and few of the teachers seem to understand that putting the movie on stage is not going to work. My friend reminded me of being asked to make the Witch vanish...from down stage center, on a non-trapped stage, under full lights. "You can do that, can't you? You guys have all sorts of tricks."

Well, actually, we do. And given some adjustments I might just be able to vanish a witch. The thing that scares the heck out of me, however, is how many under-experienced and unqualified people are out there inventing dangerous Rube Goldberg flying rigs and putting them on kids to get through that show....or worse yet, Peter Pan.

[nomuse]

Hey, Showcon....you ever get bit by the Haas effect (otherwise known as the Precedence Effect?)

I've had a couple of cases when I had both my main cluster and some secondary speakers up...the secondaries might have been further from the stage and on a digital delay line...and the current client has started questioning whether the secondaries are on.

It take a certain skill to subvert the psyco-accoustic effect and actually "hear" the second set of speakers in that situation. I can do it, and I can tell they are working. Plus, I solo'd them while setting them up! But the poor client can't believe his ears are lying to him....and hasn't enough experience to realize that the sound is far too loud and clear from where he is to be coming from the distant main cluster.

(And FSM help us all with idiots and exposed graphic equalizers!)

[gillianren]

Heh. My problem with putting the movie version of The Wizard of Oz onstage is that it's such a bad adaptation of the book!

[ShowCon]

Nomuse,

Most of my audio experience is with permanent-install theme park stuff, so I really haven't had to deal with clients as an audio person, but I have had to strain my own ears to make sure my delay speakers are working right. Thank Zarquon for output mutes in Media Matrix.

I do mostly lighting, but my current gig is as the show control crew chief for a large, one-show facility. Since we don't have any live audio in the show, only playback, audio falls under my area as well. Luckily all the EQ was done in the studio, so no smiley-face sliders.

Here's the theatre:
www.dzre.com/disney_web/fantasmic2.gif

In my high school theatre years, I helped the local middle school put on both Wizard of Oz and Peter Pan. Just did some set construction and lighting. Our local community theatre also helped out with the flying. Lots of Ace Hardware parts. Of course, I didn't know enough at the time to know that it wasn't terribly safe. Nobody got hurt, but we did almost clock one of the Darling boys in the head with a set of barndoors that got tangled in his wire.

The director (same for both shows) knew enough to not have really grandiose ideas about how the show should look, but we still ended up with a lot of tempera-painted cardboard and 1x2s. The pirate ship for Peter Pan actually turned out pretty cool. Spin it around and flip up some hinged plywood and it turned into Neverland.

Doug